Trusting yourself, past choice, imperfect decisions
A friend told me recently that what I offer sounds great and genuinely helpful, but she just doesn’t have the time and energy for one more thing.
I believe her completely. Time and energy really are in short supply for most of us, especially the women I talk to most. But the more I sat with it, the more I started to wonder if time was the whole story, or if it was just part of a more complicated story.
When one more thing feels like too much Read More »
And then comes the part nobody warns you about.
You’ve done that work. You’ve seen something true about yourself that you didn’t see before. And you wait for that knowledge to change things.
And then you find yourself doing the exact same thing again.
Not because you forgot. Not because you didn’t mean it. But because knowing something and living differently because of it are two completely separate skills, and nobody tells you that. We talk about self-awareness like it’s the finish line. Like once you see the thing clearly, the thing loses its power.
It doesn’t work that way.
When You Know Yourself Better and It Doesn’t Fix Anything (Yet) Read More »
Most people think self trust means being certain. That if you truly trusted yourself, you’d know the right answer, make the right choice, and move forward without doubt.
But that’s not how trust works. And it’s definitely not how life works.
Self trust isn’t about making perfect decisions. It’s about trusting that whatever you choose, you’ll be able to handle it. That even if it doesn’t go the way you hoped, you’ll figure it out. That your judgment is good enough, even when it’s not flawless.
It’s about making peace with imperfect decisions. Because those are the only kind that exist.
You Don’t Need Perfect Decisions to Trust Yourself Read More »
One of the biggest reasons people struggle to trust themselves is because they’re still punishing themselves for choices they made years ago.
That job you stayed in too long. That relationship you didn’t leave when you should have. That opportunity you said yes to even though your gut told you no. That thing you ignored until it became a crisis.
You remember those moments. You replay them. You use them as evidence that you can’t trust your own judgment. That your instincts are unreliable. If you’d just listened to yourself sooner, everything would have turned out differently.
But here’s the truth. Your past choices aren’t proof that you can’t be trusted. They’re proof that you were doing the best you could with what you knew at the time. And there’s a difference.
Your Past Choices Aren’t Proof You Can’t Be Trusted Read More »
You’re smart. You’re capable. You’ve made good decisions before. You’ve navigated hard things. You’ve figured out complex problems.
And yet, when it comes to trusting yourself, you hesitate. You second-guess. You ask everyone else what they think before you let yourself decide. You overthink until you’re paralyzed. You wait for a sign, for permission, for certainty that never comes.
It’s not that you can’t make decisions. It’s that you don’t trust yourself to make the right ones. And that’s exhausting.
If you’ve been wondering why you struggle to trust your own judgment, even though you’re perfectly competent in every other area of your life, this is for you.
Why You Don’t Trust Yourself (Yet) Read More »
There’s a moment in midlife when you start noticing that the person you’ve been carrying around isn’t exactly you anymore.
It often shows up during the most ordinary moments.
A drive.
A shower.
Standing in the pantry, of all places.
And suddenly you realize:
You’re not confused.
You’re uncomfortable.
You’re standing at the crossroads of who you’ve been and who you’re becoming.
And the loudest thing in the room isn’t your intuition.
It’s your conditioning.
Your whole life, you were taught to be nice, be grateful, don’t rock the boat, don’t be “too much.”
There’s no room in that list for self-trust.
So it’s not surprising that you second-guess your choices, rehearse your explanations, or ask three friends for opinions you didn’t really need.
You’re not broken, You’re trained.
You Don’t Need a Permission Slip to Trust Yourself Read More »
